Inferiority & the Numbers Game

We have been conditioned to measure our success on the numbers game.

The more numbers we have the more successful we are. Yet, this is the conditioning of the old paradigm. Keeping us measuring, comparing, competing against each other. Keeping us outside of self rather than at home in our body. The numbers game keeps us focused on our lack, on our inferiority. It keeps us aspiring to the never attainable goal of never being truly happy and content until we have reached that milestone high in the sky.

We measure our self-worth, our value, our standing, and status by the numbers we’ve accumulated. We measure our gifts, our strengths, and our talents and how successfully they’re projected out into the world through the game of numbers. We measure how much power we yield by the numbers we have in the bank, the numbers we have on social media, the numbers we spend to function and live in our day-to-day life.

Who are we without those numbers? Are we still powerful? Influential? Valued? Do we still have self-worth? Are we still accepted, loved and supported? Are we comfortable in our surroundings and in our own skin?

All this time, as we stay focused on the numbers game, we stay in our lack mentality, and our inferiority complex. We stay in our competitive nature always wanting to attain more and more and more, believing the more numbers we have the more we will be seen and heard for who we truly are. To know our true value, we have to know who we are without those numbers which have shaped our identity and our very being.

When we fill the hole inside of us with numbers and focus on accumulating those numbers from the outside world, we continue to deal with the symptom, rather than the root cause, and the reason why we feel lack and inferiority in the first place. By focusing on the numbers on the outside, we forget about the magic we each hold on the inside, magic which is priceless.

Our magic is not a competition, it cannot be compared, it cannot be measured and it cannot be sold as a commodity. Our magic is unique and can only be used to make a difference in the world. If we only sell our magic to the highest bidder, then we must ask – where is our integrity? Am I doing this only for numbers, or to make that difference, Mother Earth needs right now?

For the paradigm cannot shift if we continue to play the numbers game. Nothing can really change, as our insatiable appetite for those numbers and why it is everpresent is not really being addressed nor understood at that deeper level. Never really being explored or challenged to change from the inside out.

True power and magic are not attained through numbers. True power and magic are our birthrights, we cannot attain what we already have.

The question is are we happy with what we have, or do we need more? Do we need to feed ourselves with numbers to be seen and accepted and heard? For our own magic to be recognised in today’s ever-growing noisy landscape? Are we happy with simply knowing our magic, nurturing it, loving it, and sharing it in a way which is not based on numbers? Or do we need those numbers to show the world who we really are? The famous ‘look at me’ syndrome, look at what I ‘have’, look at what I’ve achieved.

The numbers game feeds an illusion, and it works both ways for the rich and the poor. This need for an increasing amount of numbers is part of the shadow side of Patriarchy, we’ve been conditioned to believe numbers equal power, and with power, we can do what the fuck we want. We can abuse, rape, neglect, abandon, reject who and what we want because as long as we have numbers we’re alright Jack, keep your hands off our stack. Yet that need for numbers and power and status comes from the same feelings of lack and inferiority. It comes with a price. Disrespecting self, disrespecting others, disrespecting planet earth.

Yet, we do need numbers to live and be part of the world, although if our ‘need’ for numbers overrides full acceptance of our magic and the difference we can make with it to effect real change, by keeping us ‘outside’ of self, projecting our unconscious lack and inferiority, then we still have work to do.

When we move from the numbers game to the abundance game, we have challenged ourselves to get to the heart the matter. We have challenged ourselves to understand at that deeper level how lack and inferiority have been conditioned through us, in this lifetime, past lifetimes, through the generations, across lands and cultures.

We have challenged ourselves to heal the wounds and face the traumas on an individual and collective level where these aspects started and in doing so we have touched our magic. Our own unique alchemical mix of who we are, and what we came here to do and share, and when we touch that, it’s like we have touched God/Dess. Our smile lights up, we feel it flowing through us, we know we are enough, and no amount of numbers can change that.

If we feed and nurture our magic, our magic will nurture and feed us from a place of acceptance and abundance and not lack and inferiority.

So let me ask you….are you playing the numbers game? Are you measuring your own value and self-worth based on the game of numbers?

With Love,
Nicola x